Subjects, Nouns and 15 year olds

So, I gave a direct object-indirect object test and many students bombed. Bombed as in they made zeroes. I felt that, just perhaps, I did not teach it well so today I retaught it.

I discovered the problem. They do not know subjects and verbs. I was totally amazed. I gave a sentence "Doug gave Tim a watch." I asked what is the subject. "It's gave." No. "It's watch." No. "It's Tim." No. "Uh....Doug?" How in the world can you be a sophomore in high school and not know what subjects and verbs are in a sentence? I weep. I weep for my test scores, my evaluation based on my test scores, and, most of all, because these students will be taking care of me in my old age. They will answer a text while I am stroking out.

Let's see-Subject-they;verb-will answer; direct object-text.

In other news, I went to the doctor today. I get to have surgery in March-actually one of two surgeries. I can only hope I get good drugs. My mommy (that's a subject, boys and girls) already said she would take care of me.

Tomorrow, I'm teaching the correct usage of a semicolon and run-ons. I might need a sedative beforehand.