Figuring out life...slowly.

I feel life is either a grand adventure or a never-ending tunnel of doom. I am trying to find a middle. Somewhere.

Sunday, February 14, 2010


Today is Valentine's Day. Smoochy-romance day full of red balloons, heart, candy and stuffed animals. I am not a romantic. I am a worst-case scenario person and I rarely see the romance in much of life. Yet, I got married on Valentine's Day and it was great. Wonderful, even. Well, except for the part about there always being a huge crowd when we celebrated by eating out, it was wonderful.

It would have been my 12th anniversary today if my husband had lived. He didn't. He died six years ago from brain cancer. Some say our life was a romantic love story that ended in tragedy. Some say it was tragic. I say it just was. We did things backward...we dated, had a baby, married, lived a little, had two great boys, then he died.

Flashforward to now: I am in my thirties with the same two boys. I put myself through college and now I teach. I date. It is rocky (more on that, lucky blog readers!) and here I am. The boyfriend and I celebrated V-Day last night. It was wonderful. Tonight-a quiet night of us watching TV. I love the boyfriend but I do miss my husband. It is not the searing hurt of the first few years. It just a bittersweet heart.

So here's to you, V-Day. And Happy V-Day to the single, the rocky relationship, the married, the deployed solidier's mates, the lonely but in a relationship and the happy in relationships...I hope you have a great one. Eat candy for me. I can't...stupid losing weight.

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